Cosmic Unconscious
In Open Wounds there is a letter written from Lefty to Cid that was one of the most difficult pieces of writing I’ve ever done. It was difficult because it was so painful to write. It is a letter of madness, loss, and love written by someone who could never say the words out loud. Even now when I read it I can feel my heart ache. I don’t know if it’s a great piece of writing – but I do know when I read it I believe that Lefty wrote it and that I did not. Does that sound strange to you? It does to me. My publisher, Evelyn, said to me today that she thinks sometimes people pull from the great unconscious when they write. I don’t know if there’s a great cosmic unconscious – though I’d like to believe there is and I really like the phrase cosmic unconscious. But Lefty’s words came from some part of me and I don’t know where or what that part is. It hasn’t happened too often in my writing.
I re-read my book again for the last edit a couple of weeks ago and I found myself drawn to that letter again. In his blog ghostmedicine, Andrew Smith talks about being in love with his latest book, Stick (soon to be released). I wrote to him that it makes sense that writers love their work because it is such intimate work and pulls from intimate places within us – places not easily explored.
Nervous ARCs
It’s March 8 and I’m about two weeks away from seeing my ARCs. ARCs are Advanced Reader Copies of a book. I don’t know if it will be hard or soft cover but I know it will be one step away from the actual book. The copy will be just about perfect – though I’ll give it yet one more proof reading (the proofing seem endless but are so important to make sure the words, every word, is right). I know the cover will not be the final cover but it will be close to what the final will look like. I know they will be used to give to reviewers, bloggers who are reviewers, pre and post-publication reviewers like Kirkus and Publisher’s Weekly. That means my first reviews are only a few weeks away. I’m a bit nervous about that part. Okay, that’s an understatement.
I’ve been reviewed as a performer (my improv career collected one especially bad review that I can still feel the knives from), as a presenter (lots and lots of evaluations from over twenty years of giving workshops), and grant proposals (usually just a big “no” with no comments). I’ve received tons of rejections from editors when I’ve submitted my work and that has always hurt. But these reviews will be personal because Open Wounds really is my baby. It’s been a part of me for over seven years.
I can’t wait to see the ARCs.
I can’t wait to see the reviews.
Man am I nervous.
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